Your impact is how your words and actions make other people feel.  As a leader in the world and in your community, you will get great results by taking responsibility for your impact.

Here’s an example that you will understand if you’ve ever been in any kind of relationship:  In an arguement, you say something that is misunderstood or taken the wrong way.  It is normal for your response to be, “But, that’s not what I meant!  You are twisting my words.  You are making it mean something else.”  Or something to that effect.  I know you’ve been in this situation in some fashion.

Here’s the call to action:

Instead of blaming the other person for how they react to your messages, verbal and non-verbal, take responsibility for your impact.  Notice what kind of response you are getting from how and what you are communicating.  If you truly did not intend to insult your spouse, your child, your sister or your client, do not make it worse by telling them that they are wrong for being insulted.  If you don’t like the response you are getting, change your message and/or the way it’s being delivered.

As promised, here is my “Stadium Pitch”:  The Seven Most Expensive Mistakes Women Entrepreneurs Make.  Drum roll, please…

1. Being non specific and not identifying your niche.  This is extremely true of coaches and service professionals.  How many clients/customers do you really want?  You do not need to market to the entire world in order to get them.
2. Not knowing who your target market is.  Of course, defining your niche is a big part of this.  “Pretty much everyone could use my services ” is not a target.  I recently polled a group of savvy, mostly experienced women entrepreneurs and less than one third of them had a defined target market.  This is a VERY expensive mistake.  You need to know who your client is in order to know what they want from you and how to reach them.
3. Telling your clients what they want and need instead of listening to what your clients tell you they want from you.
4. Getting up and running on a crazy treadmill and not asking yourselves, “What’s the point?”  It is important to evaluate every commitment and decision and ask “Why am I doing this?  What do I hope to achieve?  What do I want to get out of this?  How do I need to approach this in order to get my desired outcome?”
5. Taking on too much overhead and throwing money at your business without looking at your return on your investment.
6. Recreating the wheel.  There is a lot of good information available.  For most new entrepreneurs, it makes more sense to build your own website than to pay $9K for one.  But, it probably doesn’t make more sense to build your own blog than to pay $500 for one.
7. “Spray and Pray” advertising.  This is a common side effect of not being clear about your niche and not knowing who your target market is.
8. Networking ineffectively - expecting to “get something out of” simply attending some networking meetings.  This could also be called not following up.
9. Hiding behind SAFE sales strategies - advertisements, newsletters, handing out business cards, creating facebook events, etc.
10. Thinking that a new expert or another credential is what you need to succeed.  In some cases, an expert is very valuable, but many entrepreneurs make the mistake (at least once) of hiring someone or buying a program in order to avoid doing what they already know.
11. Not taking responsibility for your impact.  Blaming other people, organizations, advertising platforms, social media sites, etc for your lack of success.
12. Quitting too soon.  Doing something once and expecting it to payoff.
13. Not quitting soon enough.  Hope is not a good strategy.
14. Attempting to do everything yourself.  Stay in your strengths and outsource the rest.  I just hired a VA to do my billing, because I hate doing it.  It actually costs you more money for you to run certain parts of your business than it does to outsource them, and you will likely be more productive and make more money when you free yourself from tasks that drain you.

Okay, okay… I can count.  That’s fourteen, not seven.  I could edit the list, combine some things and drop some things and I’m not going to.  I also think it’s a good strategy to under promise and over deliver.  So, the extra seven are my gift to you.  Enjoy!

I was on a conference call with Chet Holmes recently, of “The Ultimate Sales Machine”.  By now, you have all at least heard of the concept of your target market or your ideal client.  The new information for me, though, was Chet’s break down of your target market’s current interest in buying now.

So, here’s how it breaks down:

30% of your TARGET Market is DEFINITELY not interested in buying right now!  That’s one third of your ideal clients, people.

30% of your target market THINKS they aren’t interested in buying right now.

30% of your target market isn’t even thinking about buying.

7% or your target market is open to the idea of buying, but needs some compelling reasons.

And only 3% is planning to BUY NOW!

So, how can you position yourself to be in front of your ideal client when they are ready to buy?  And how can you refine what you offer your target market to make more people interested in what you’re offering?

Chet offered an exercise that I thought was pretty compelling:

Imagine that I am going to put you in a room full of 50,000 people who are ALL your ideal client.  You get to get up on stage and deliver a speech to them, presumably with the intention to get them to buy your product or engage in your services.  Here’s the catch:  Your opening line needs to be the title of your speech and everyone will get the opportunity to get up and leave if they aren’t interested after you deliver your opening line.  What speech will you deliver?

I started with:
“I’m here to help you turn all the problems in your small business into opportunities.”

By the end of the call, I refined my topic to:

“The Seven Most Expensive Mistakes Women Entrepreneurs Make”

I’ll get that article to you soon!

Most people wait until New Year’s to start contemplating the new year and setting resolutions and goals.  But, not the people that I hang out with.  You people are on fire!  It’s barely December and everyone I know is beginning to make some assessment of 2009 and some plans for 2010.  I have a process that I run through at the end of each year and I thought I’d share it with you.  They are my Ten Questions for Spectacular Direction:

1. What did I accomplish this year?
2. What were my biggest disappointments?
3. What did I learn?
4. What 10 things do I do that I love to do?
5. What 10 things do I do that I don’t love to do?  How can I stop doing some of these things?
6. What roles do I play in my life?  For help, look at these areas and determine which roles you play:  career, money, health & fitness, love life, friends & family, personal & spiritual development, environment, and fun& recreation.  I use sassy titles like “Mother of the Year” instead of “Mom” and “God’s Girl” instead of “Confirmation Teacher” and “The Woman of His Dreams” instead of “Wife” and “The Girl Everyone is Talking About” instead of “networker.”  We all play so many roles in our lives.  Consolidate them a little, make about 8 “Title Roles” and list the sub roles underneath them.  For example:  “Mother of the Year” might have sub roles: chef, taxi driver, cheerleader, tutor, housekeeper, coach, personal shopper, librarian, gamer and ATM.  “The Best Coach in SCV” might have roles like “Coach, CTI Ambassador, ICF Board Member, WE Marketing Coordinator, blogger, networker, Get Clients Now facilitator, etc.”
7. What are my goals for each of my top 8 Roles?  Set SMART Goals:  specific, measurable, achievable, resonant, and thrilling (that might be a little different than the SMART goals you are accustomed to - I’ll write more about that another day).
8. What one or two roles are my major focus for next year?  What are my top 10 goals for next year?
9. What’s really most important to me?  What are my top 4 values that will get me the results I want next year?  I call these my “Cornerstones” and I “run” my decisions through them.
10. What support do I need to achieve my goals?  Education, resources, consulting, coaching, a buddy, a support system, etc.

Okay, I know that there are really more than ten questions on that list.  But, it’s worth it and you’re worth it.  It normally takes me about 3 hours to go through the process.  I write down all my answers and produce a lovely little one page summary that I hang on my wall all year, which I also give a sassy name (last year’s was “Sunshine 2009″, this year’s is “Win in 2010″).  As a reward, I normally treat myself to a vision board.  If I’ve done it right, my goals are a little breath taking and I treat myself to a glass of champagne to celebrate the success that I am starring in the face.

Yesterday, I wrote about how to give a good compliment and I got a lot of feedback from people that what they want to hear more about is how to accept a compliment.  The short answer is this:  Say, “Thank You!”

Most of us are very grateful people, which would explain all the gratitude lists and gratitude journals and all the facebook posts about what we are grateful about.  We are also pretty generous with our compliments.  Ironically, we aren’t as good at accepting compliments, especially women.  We are so critical of ourselves that we often “push away” compliments.  We do this in several different ways.

1.  We invalidate the compliment.  We say, “Thanks, but …” or “This old thing?”

2.  We make a poor comparison.  We say, “Thank you, but yours is so much cuter.” or “Thanks, but I’m not as fast as I used to be.”

3.  We deflect the attention off of ourselves onto other people, especially the person who gives us the compliment.  We say, “Thanks so much, but I couldn’t have done it with out the help of…” or “Thanks.  But, really YOU are the one who looks great!”

Practice truly accepting compliments.  Stop telling your friends that they are liars and try believing them.  Stop invalidating their appreciation of your hard work and throwing their gift back at them.  Simply say, “Thank You.”  If you must add something, try actually adding to the compliment.  Here are a couple of examples:

Compliment:  “You look great!  Have you lost weight?”

Response:  “Thank you.  I’m trying to look my best.”  You don’t have to actually address your weight or your eating habits or admit that you’ve gained 5 pounds, but discovered Spanx.  Of course, any good girlfriend would dish about the Spanx.  If you don’t know what I’m talking about, google it.

Compliment:  “Thank you so much for your hospitality!  Dinner was lovely.”

Response:  “Thank you!  I love throwing dinner parties.”  Do not tell your guest all the things that went wrong or were imperfect.  If you have to comment about the dinner, say what your favorite part was and offer a recipe.

Compliment:  “I love your purse!”

Response:  “Thank you!  I love it, too!”  Oh, this is the best kind - mutual appreciation.  Now everyone feels good.

Remember to Do It Like a Girl!  Lift up someone today by accepting their appreciation and graciously receiving their compliment.