Archive for April, 2010

The other night my youngest boys came running into the living room in a panic because, evidently, “a hundred giant bugs” were in the house. I was on the phone with my sister talking about her exciting new move and helping her sort out the details, so I was trying to empower them to take care of the “giant bugs”.

Okay, you need some background here. I have four boys who spent their toddler and pre-school years chasing bugs with bug nets and building little habitats for them to live in. I’m not sure where along the line they turned bug phobic. My oldest son is now in college and is really not fond of spiders. He can handle most other bugs, but he wasn’t here, so I couldn’t call on him to pull out the combination of karate lessons and AP Science genius to help me. My fifteen year old was home but insulated in his room with his iPod and computer and pretended not to hear the commotion so that he wouldn’t have to let on that he’s also afraid of bugs. My husband was out of town, fortunately. The last thing I needed in that moment was my big, tough hunka man pulling out an arsenal of chemicals and weapons to declare war on the beasties to cover up the fact that he’s also afraid of bugs. And, my dogs find bugs beneath their dignity and completely ignore them. They won’t chase anything smaller than a bunny. So, that leaves me with my youngest two who are 11 and 12. They are smart, resourceful and fully capable of taking care of a problem of this caliber. They are both clever on their own, but they are scary smart together.

So, I tell them to “put on their big boy pants and go figure it out.” I kept talking to my sister while they tried catching, shooing, swatting and shooting at the bugs (with Nerf darts). Next thing I know, they come running into the living room and shut off all the lights. “We can’t do it, Mom! There are too many of them and they are freaky! You need to help us!” I ask them, “Uh, why are we having this conversation in the dark?” They have determined that the bugs are attracted to light, so they have turned out all the lights in the house except the kitchen so that they can collect them all in one place. Oh, smart, but why the kitchen? I don’t want bugs in my kitchen!

My sister’s move is really a big, big deal. She’s 21 and moving from a small town in Oregon to Alaska by herself on a one year internship. I really wanted to talk to her more than I wanted to join the bug battle. So, I told the boys that the bugs are harmless and that I’d take care of them when I got off the phone. They were huddled next to me on the couch in the dark and wouldn’t leave or let me turn on any lights, so I sent them to learn about the bugs on the internet. They held their breath and ran to my office swinging their arms wildly around their heads in case of fly-bys and slammed the door. I guess it was safe in there.

Five minutes later, they came running back into the living room with the solution that they got from www.howtogetridofstuff.com: Vacuum them up! Oh, I thought that was a good idea and told them to get to it. At this point, though, they were so freaked out from the close up pictures of the bugs on the internet that they wanted me to help them. Uh, do they know who they’re talking to? I don’t mind bugs, but I do NOT vacuum! I haven’t vacuumed since 1988 when my new husband first realized that we would need to make enough money to hire a housekeeper. Well, one thing that my boys are really good at is gadgets, electronics and tools, so they got out the vacuum and plugged in all the attachments and taught me how to use it. And, I sucked it up, got off the phone and sucked up all the creepy crawlies. I do have to admit that I felt a little bit sorry about killing them all, but I really couldn’t have a hundred bugs living in my kitchen.

Who’s on your belay team?  Most of us try to climb without one.  One of the distinguishing characteristics of successful people is that they get support and set themselves up with accountability partners.  They have someone that will anchor them when they fall and encourage them back up to their goals.

One thing that you definitely need on your way to success is accountability.  Basically, being accountable means that you answer to someone.  The best kind of accountability is someone or some structure that reminds you of your commitments and holds you to them.  Why do we need to be held accountable?  Because we’re human.  Generally, our best selves set the goals and resolutions and our weakest selves sabotage the efforts all along the way.  The thing to be careful about is that you make the distinction that your accountability partner isn’t actually responsible for you getting your result, you are.

There are a lot of different types of accountability.  The first step is to figure out what you want to be accountable to, what you want to accomplish or what results you want to achieve.  Goals and resolutions are a good place to start.  Then find a way to be accountable to achieve that result.  Find what works for you!  Don’t confuse that with “find what you like best.”  Find what actually works.

1. Personal Accountability - You are accountable to you.  This takes structures in order for you to succeed because we have a lot of different layers of values and desires and our needs in the moment can sabotage our short or long term goals.  Ideas for structures that work:  measurement (weigh yourself, count your money, count your clients), success journal (write down 5 things you will do to move you toward your goals in the next 24 hours, check in daily), write it down (food journal, QuickBooks, to do lists), time structures (put it in your calendar, make a deadline, use a timer), visual/sensory reminders (vision board, wearing special jewelry or perfume, post it notes), etc.  A bold kind of structure that really works for personal accountability is to schedule something or buy something that will force you to keep to your goal.  For example, signing up to run a marathon or scheduling a beach vacation with your high school girlfriends who all wear bikinis might help you stick to your fitness and weight loss goals.  Leasing a car through your business might help you find the motivation you need to make the money you need to make to cover it.  I’ve known people to buy houses, cars, lease offices, hire consultants and employees and then have to do whatever it takes to make the money to pay for those things.
2. Being Accountable to Friends – Tell your friends or family what you’re up to so that they can hold you to it.  It’s great to lean in to your friends and family for support, but be aware that they probably won’t really hold you accountable unless you are really specific about what you want from them.  We tend to collude with our friends and family and diminish their failures because we love them.  We let each other off the hook.  If you plan to use one or more friends for accountability, design them to call you out under certain circumstances and to hold you to your word or your best when they see you falling short.  Give them the specific conditions and language you want them to use and practice it.
3. Group Accountability – There are a lot of different kinds of groups you might be accountable to.  Generally, everyone in the group is working on similar goals as you are.  This could be in the form of a mastermind group, a board of directors, a support group, a club, a team or some other group of peers.  Pretty much, it’s peer pressure at work for you.  You just don’t want to let the group down or look bad in front of them, so you keep your word and do your best.  Most of these kinds of groups also have a coach or a leader that will add another layer of support and accountability.
4. Professional Accountability – Paying someone or getting paid by someone to get results.  You might hire a coach or a consultant to help you get specific results and to hold you accountable.  Conversely, this type of accountability can come from an employer or a customer who is paying you to achieve some result for them and you are accountable in that way. For some reason, “money talks” and most of us respond pretty well to this kind of direct accountability, where our professional reputations are at stake.
5. Public Accountabilty – Blogging, Social Networking and all other forms of telling the world what you are up to so that they will know what to expect from you.  This is bold and powerful.  Unfortunately, “the world” only knows what you tell them, so they can’t call you out about eating ice cream on the sofa at 11pm unless you tweet it or something like that.

The bottom line is that accountability works.  Go get some!

I am starting three Coaching Mastermind Groups in May that will meet twice a month for an hour over the phone – Goal setting, accountability, coaching, consulting and mentoring all in one.  Mondays at 9:30am, Tuesdays at 8:30am or Fridays at 10:30am  pacific.  Call, text or email me now!

I am not a social media expert and it’s not my specialty.  However, I have worked with plenty of social media experts on promoting myself and developing my strategies to get results.  And there is so much “bad behavior” on Facebook that I just can’t sit quietly any more and not say anything about it.  So, here are some basic tips from me to you:

• What’s the point? – I think it’s important to know what you’re doing on Facebook.  If you don’t already know, figure it out.  Here are some possible reasons you might be on Facebook:  staying in touch with friends and family, getting reconnected with old friends, making new friends, networking for your business, finding clients, promoting your strategic partners, etc.  I’m actually on FB for all of those reasons, but mostly because I’m a connection junky and busy body and I love it that there’s always someone to talk to and hang out with 24 hours a day.
• Send a personal note with your friend requests – I feel completely ridiculous having to tell people this because it seems obvious to me, but I get a ton of friend requests every week and almost NONE of them have a personal note with them.  Just so you know, if you do this to me and I can’t figure out how I know you, I put you into a list (see “lists” below) that I don’t “listen to” as often as my favorite lists, which I read daily. Let people know how you are connected so they don’t have to figure it out.
• Use lists for managing your Facebook feed –

• If you have less than 250 friends, then you can probably keep up with what people are up to with some combination of Top News, Live Feed and your Profile page.  If you have more than 250 friends, you will probably want to start sorting people into lists.  The more friends you have, the more lists you’ll want to have.  From your Friends menu, you can “Create a List” and add people to it.  The lists will show up under “Friends” on the left.  You can then click on each particular list and then only get the status updates of the people on that list.  So, I can quickly see what my family, my clients or people in my other lists are up to, without having to filter out any noise.  Be sure to add people to a list when you accept their friend request.

• You can edit your lists at any time using the “Edit List” button in that feed:

• Facebook Chatting – proceed with caution.  I rarely use FB chat.  I talk to my sister, my son who is in college and a few other select friends with FB chat.  If you chat me and I don’t know you, I will go to your profile page and size you up.  90% of the time, I will unfriend you one minute later.  I will chat a friend who I see online who posts something relevant or urgent.  An example: one of my friends recently changed her relationship status (actually, this has happened with several of my friends lately).  I chatted her immediately to find out if she was okay and we had a good conversation.  I’m a coach.  I help people in crisis.  This is my specialty.  These are my friends.  Chatting seems appropriate.  “Hi, my name is … and I live in … I like your profile picture” seems really inappropriate and creepy.
• Accepting friend requests - This really depends on what you’re doing on Facebook.  Because I’m networking for my business and looking for clients, I accept everyone and unfriend as necessary – creepy chats, too much spam, etc.
• Farmville, Mafia Wars, etc - I am not interested in these kinds of entertainment on FB, but there are plenty of people who are or the companies that build these games wouldn’t be doing so well that they are competing for the best talent by offering personal chefs, massages and race tracks as part of their on-site employee compensation packages.  I don’t want to hear about it in my feeds, though, so I “hide” them and you can too, if you’re so inclined, by mousing over the post and clicking “hide” on the right.  You have your choice of hiding the application or the person or both.
• Social media is about being social; interact with people. Comment on people’s posts, share their links that you think your list will appreciate, promote your strategic partners and friends.  Talk to people.  It’s fun!
• Fan pages - I join fan pages to support my friends and their businesses or to show support for things that I believe in.  Unless it is someone that I have a lot of respect for or that offers valuable content from their fan page, I put them on my “Fan Pages” list and never read it.  Most people use their fan pages only to promote themselves and not to add value or interact, so I am mostly not interested.  I want to talk to people, not pages.  There are exceptions and I put these fan pages on different lists so that I can stay in touch, see what my favorite people, organizations or businesses are up to and help promote them.
• Events – I don’t know about you, but I get invited to so many events that I’m dizzy and can’t keep track.  I don’t think event pages work for the most part because there is no accountability.  I don’t even take the event invites seriously most of the time.  If you are promoting a legitimate event, you will have a website or a squeeze page or some way to actually sign people up.  Send people there and skip the FB Event spam.  Oh, and people who spam me with events, especially people who I don’t have any other interaction with or relationship with, I will unfriend.
• Messages – Please email me instead.  All those events are spamming up my FB messages and I hardly ever read them and easily lose track of conversations I’m having there.

Okay, there are my top tips.  Feel free to let me know which ones you use that I missed!

Women Entrepreneurs are among the busiest people I know. But busy does not mean effective. Do you need more time in your day? Do you need to be more effective?

Here are some 5 Minute Time Management Strategies for you to try on. Why 5 Minute Strategies? Because you’re BUSY! If it takes more than 5 minutes to implement your time management strategy, you probably won’t do it!

• Stop Answering the Phone! Now this isn’t for everyone. If you are in customer service or responsible for scheduling clients, then you probably still want to answer the phone. Most of us, though, answer the phone because it’s ringing. We react. Instead of being reactive, be proactive. Plan your calls. Pick up messages and return calls all at once when you have the time to do it, not when you’re in the middle of something else.
• Stop Checking Your Email, Facebook and Twitter! If you’re anything like me, you could probably spend your whole day in front of your computer (or on your iPhone) checking your email and your social media platforms. You will feel busy and you will look busy, but you might not get much done. Schedule 3-6 times per day (for 15 to 60 minutes) that you will check email and your social media sites and respond to whatever you need to respond to. It takes discipline, but it’s worth it. This tip alone can free you up to do some “real work” and get some real results!
• Use NET Time! NET stands for “No Extra Time”. Listen to teleclass recordings in your car, learn a language while you work out, check your email while you’re in the drop off circle to pick up your kids from school, prepare your sales presentation or your upcoming class while you’re hanging out at baseball practice. You get the idea.
• Say “No” or “Not Now.” There are a lot of distractions in life. Practice saying “no” and “not now” to distractions. If it’s something that’s really important, schedule it.
• Make a List. Top 5, Top 6 or Top 10. Every evening or every morning, make a list of your Top 5, 6 or 10 things that you must accomplish during the next 24 hours and do them.

We are all running around looking for the magic solution, the answer to our problems, a new diet, a new marketing plan, the secret to happiness and other imaginary answers that we think are out there somewhere.  We read books, go to workshops, attend seminars, listen to teleclasses, go on retreats and hire coaches, consultants, teachers, trainers and other experts to show us the way.  Here’s the thing, though, you probably already know the answer!

One of the payoffs of running around looking for the answer is that you don’t have to do that thing that you know you need to do that you don’t want to do.  Stop right now and ask yourself, “What is the ONE thing that I need to do in order to get the results I’m after?”  You might come up with 2 things, you might come up with 10.  Listen to me good!  ONE of those things on your list is probably the thing you’ve been avoiding and it’s the thing that will set you free.  I bet you want some examples.  Okay…

Weight Loss:

You want to lose weight?  Oh, I know this one!  What are the things that you think you need to do to get you the results you’re after?  Exercise, keep a food log, eat particular foods, drink water, don’t eat other foods, watch your portions, eat more often, eat less often, hire a trainer, run a marathon, join a gym, get a buddy, etc.  These are all great ideas.  I bet that ONE of these things, though, is the ONE thing that you really need to focus on.  For me, it’s eat less – period.  I can employ all kinds of different strategies and plans for eating less.  I can get all kinds of support for eating less.  I can take pills that will help me eat less.  I can hire a coach or a trainer that will hold me accountable to eating less.  But, I still need to eat less.  Period.

Get More Clients:

You want more clients?  Haha, I know this one, too!  What are the things you think you need to do to get more clients?  I bet you have a hundred things on that list:  network, speak to your target market, define your target market, re-design your website, start a blog, hang out on Facebook more, Twitter, drink more coffee (with other people), eat more lunches (again, with other people), join another networking group, get a new credential, learn a new skill, add more letters to your name, send an e-zine, have a free offer, lower your prices, raise your prices, advertise, etc.  Oh, I could go on and on and on.  There are hundreds of strategies that you could employ.  Let me tell you something.  NONE of those things is going to get you more clients!  These things will get you contacts, prospects, referral partners and the like, but they won’t get you clients.  You actually have to ask for business – whether it’s in person, on the phone, by email , through Facebook or whatever.  You can have the best marketing plan in the world, if you don’t have a sales plan, you won’t sell anything.

So, what is it for you?  What is the problem you want to solve and what is the ONE thing that you aren’t doing that you need to do to get results?  Don’t get me wrong.  I am not suggesting that you stop doing the 9 other things you’re doing that are actually working.  I just know that there is ONE thing that you’re not doing that you need to start doing.  I also know that the one thing you aren’t doing isn’t more of something that’s working (or not working).  You don’t need to exercise more, blog more, go to more meetings, etc.  You do need to do those things, but you also need to do the ONE thing that you’re not doing.  Figure it out and do it!

If you need help figuring out what your ONE thing is, call me or another coach.  I can’t always see my one thing.  Sometimes I can and I don’t want to do it, can’t do it or won’t do it.  Coaches and consultants can help you with new strategies, twists and awarenesses that can help with that part, too.