How to Accept a Compliment
November 25th, 2009 | Author: Carrie
Yesterday, I wrote about how to give a good compliment and I got a lot of feedback from people that what they want to hear more about is how to accept a compliment. The short answer is this: Say, “Thank You!”
Most of us are very grateful people, which would explain all the gratitude lists and gratitude journals and all the facebook posts about what we are grateful about. We are also pretty generous with our compliments. Ironically, we aren’t as good at accepting compliments, especially women. We are so critical of ourselves that we often “push away” compliments. We do this in several different ways.
1. We invalidate the compliment. We say, “Thanks, but …” or “This old thing?”
2. We make a poor comparison. We say, “Thank you, but yours is so much cuter.” or “Thanks, but I’m not as fast as I used to be.”
3. We deflect the attention off of ourselves onto other people, especially the person who gives us the compliment. We say, “Thanks so much, but I couldn’t have done it with out the help of…” or “Thanks. But, really YOU are the one who looks great!”
Practice truly accepting compliments. Stop telling your friends that they are liars and try believing them. Stop invalidating their appreciation of your hard work and throwing their gift back at them. Simply say, “Thank You.” If you must add something, try actually adding to the compliment. Here are a couple of examples:
Compliment: “You look great! Have you lost weight?”
Response: “Thank you. I’m trying to look my best.” You don’t have to actually address your weight or your eating habits or admit that you’ve gained 5 pounds, but discovered Spanx. Of course, any good girlfriend would dish about the Spanx. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, google it.
Compliment: “Thank you so much for your hospitality! Dinner was lovely.”
Response: “Thank you! I love throwing dinner parties.” Do not tell your guest all the things that went wrong or were imperfect. If you have to comment about the dinner, say what your favorite part was and offer a recipe.
Compliment: “I love your purse!”
Response: “Thank you! I love it, too!” Oh, this is the best kind – mutual appreciation. Now everyone feels good.
Remember to Do It Like a Girl! Lift up someone today by accepting their appreciation and graciously receiving their compliment.
Tags: affirmations, appreciation, carrie kish, compliments, Do It Like a Girl, grateful, gratitude, gratitude journal, Spanx
Carrie,
Thank you for this article! It took me a long time to allow “Thank You” to be enough when receiving a compliment. It’s still sometimes hard. But everytime I do it, it gets easier.
You’re a great coach, and I appreciate what you bring to the world.
Judith Cassis, C.Ht.
Thanks, Judith!
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