Posts Tagged ‘awareness’

A good compliment lifts a person’s spirits. Giving a compliment comes easily and naturally for some people and it feels difficult and awkward for others. It is simply a skill that takes practice to develop.

Here are some tips:

1.  Pay Attention. The first step is to take notice of other people. Notice how they look and how they make you feel. Pay attention to what they say.

2.  Be Specific. People like to be known and seen. A powerful compliment is specific, not general. Consider the impact. “You’re awesome” doesn’t compare to “You are so organized and I know I can always count on you.”

3.  Be Genuine. A compliment should always be genuine and authentic. Look for what you honestly like about a person. Tell the truth.

4.  Be Generous. Giving a compliment is inherently a generous practice. Don’t use this as an opportunity to compare behavior that you like to behavior that you don’t. Keep your compliments clean and avoid offering them with corrections and comparisons. “I like your hair this color so much better than red” is actually an insult, not a compliment.

5.  Acknowledge. The most powerful compliments acknowledge who a person is and who they are becoming. Use this language, “You are…”

6.  Champion. Be a cheerleader. Let people know that you believe in them. Use this language, “I know …”

7.  Be Concise. A compliment can lose it’s impact if it is surrounded by explanations and justifications. Keep it brief, simple and direct.

8.  Let it Land. Don’t rush to the next thing. Allow your compliment to be received. Generally people will say, “Thank you.” Sometimes a person will push a compliment away by belittling themselves or minimizing their contribution. Gently repeat the compliment.

9.  Practice. Practice giving AND receiving compliments. Give at least 5 compliments every day. When someone gives you a compliment, simply say, “Thank you.”

I was thrilled to get up this morning and realize that I get an extra hour today due to Daylight Saving Time!  I felt so motivated like I could get so much extra stuff done today.  I started by going grocery shopping before breakfast.  Then I decided to update my website.  I also took a break to workout.  I played a game with the kids this afternoon and created a new facebook fan page.  So, all in all, I spent at least 6 “extra” hours today doing things that I wouldn’t normally do on a Sunday because I perceived that I had “so much extra time”.

It made me realize that I can always make time to do the things that I want to do and that there is plenty of time in the day when I’m looking for it.  It reminded me of the concept of NET Time.  NET stands for “No Extra Time”.  I have this practice of “creating” time by using NET time.  It’s just a fancy kind of multi-tasking with intention.  I listen to motivational or educational CDs in the car, especially in traffic.  I make personal phone calls while doing the dishes or laundry.  It helps me feel more productive and to justify “hanging out” with my girlfriends on the phone and it makes otherwise dull chores something I look forward to.

So, what did you do with your extra hour today?  What would you do if you had an extra hour every day?  Where can you find an extra hour in your day to do just that?

I was totally inspired when I watched this. Dave’s enthusiasm is captivating. I loved his honesty about his failures and what he learned along the way. It calls me to step up into my life and do bigger work than I am doing!

Life coaches are having a different kind of conversation with people, one designed to help you be present and live a fulfilling and balanced life. In order to do that, coaches often say and do weird things:

1. Ask you what you really want. Most people have no idea what they really want. What do you really want?
2. Celebrate your failures. Congratulations! You just found one more way that it doesn’t work. What did you learn and what do you want to do now?
3. Encourage you to feel your feelings rather than run from them, hide them or fix them.
4. Ask you to check in with your body. You’ve got a body and it has wisdom. It’s time to listen.
5. Ask you to explore different perspectives. It may not always feel like it, but you always have choices. What are you choosing?
6. Celebrate your successes. This is actually harder for most people than celebrating their failures. Stop for a minute and bask in the glow of your brilliance. You deserve it!
7. Challenge your limiting beliefs. A coach specifically listens for what you are saying and what you are not saying. You may have beliefs or rules that you make up but that aren’t necessarily true. Your coach will bring these things to your awareness.
8. Follow the path of most resistance. A coach might ask you, “What don’t you want me to know about this?” There is a lot of learning and a lot of freedom in exploring the things you hide.
9. Interrupt your stories. While most coaches love a good story, they really want to know “what’s the point?” Who you are and who you are becoming are even more interesting than your stories.
10. Hold you as creative, resourceful and whole. You are not broken and you do not need to be fixed. You are capable of dealing with everything in your life and you hold the answers. Your coach believes in you even more than you believe in yourself. You can do it! You are destined for greatness!

Carrie Kish is a life coach who believes that you are destined for greatness! For more information, visit www.CarrieKish.com or call 661.255.2100.