Posts Tagged ‘failure’

Bruno

Pepper

Today, my dogs got out and they bolted! They took off into the hillside to chase some deer and I didn’t see them again for 3 hours. They came back thirsty, tired and smelling of rosemary (which is better than they smelled when they left). They are totally fine. But, I wasn’t. I was beside myself with worry and rearranged my schedule to attempt to find them. And I learned some things.

• Sometimes, you just have to run yourself silly after your dreams even if you can’t catch them. It’s all about the thrill of the chase, the exhilaration and what you experience and learn about on the way.
• Sometimes, you need to jump up and take advantage of an opportunity immediately or it will run off without you and you might not get it back. When my dogs broke out of the house (yes, broke out – one of them can open unlocked doors), I saw them make a break for it. I chased after them for about 5 minutes and then I gave up. I could see where they were on the hillside and I was going to be late for a conference call, so I went and called in. By the time I got back outside with my phone, they had disappeared and disappeared good.
• Sometimes it is better to be late or to reschedule than to let your life get all out of proportion. Instead of being late or canceling my call, I toughed it out for a while – while my dogs ran unsupervised through the hills. If you give up (after 5 minutes), it will make catching up later a lot harder. I searched for them for an hour in the hills after that, to no avail.
• Searching, worrying and running all over the place telling everyone you know that you need help doesn’t always yield results. In this case, I finally ended up coming home and getting on the phone with a client and my dogs just walked back into the house like nothing had happened that a long drink of water and a good long nap couldn’t fix.
• Sometimes a long drink of water and a good, long nap is exactly what is needed.
• The biggest lesson here for me is about being busy and active and taking action. I’m always the girl who takes action and takes care of business. If there is a problem, I’m going to fix it. What I am realizing is that many things don’t need to be fixed or worked on, but left to sort themselves out (like teenagers). Sometimes, it is more important to have faith that things can and will work themselves out without my input and that my most important contribution is to make sure there is a safe, loving environment to land in when the day is done.
• And, finally, gratitude. I am grateful that my dogs are home, that my husband is safely delivered to NYC, that my kids are all tucked in their beds and that my life is good. I am grateful for all my friends and neighbors that were real and sympathetic and supportive and told me the truth rather than what they thought I wanted to hear. I am grateful for these lessons today, because I am sure I will need them one day when the stakes are higher.

Download “The Mindset of a Leader” – 60 minute Inspirational Audio

1. Listen. There are 3 Levels of Listening.  Listen to what you are saying and what you are thinking.  Listen to what other people are saying and what they aren’t saying.  Listen to what’s going on in the environment.  This is the place to access your intuition.  Remember that communication is only 7% words.  Communication is also 38% tonality and 55% body language.  Really hear what people are saying.
2. Be intentional. For every activity and interaction, leaders have an intended impact and outcome.  Impact is how you want to feel or make others feel.  Outcome is what you want to do or inspire others to do.
3. Follow your urges. Everything serves.  Say what you’re thinking.  Follow your intuition and your impulses.  Stop worrying about what other people think.
4. Take responsibility for your impact. Stay.  Realize that following your urges might make a mess.  Stick around and clean it up.  Don’t blame others for misinterpreting you.  The arguements, “But, that’s not what I said!” or “That’s not what I meant” are ways of blaming others.  Take responsibility for your part.
5. Build rapport. You can lead people anywhere you want if you first meet them where they are.  The #1 Most Important Communication Tool is “What I love about that idea…”  Try it.  Sometimes you don’t know “what you love about that idea.”  Just say the words and see what comes out of your mouth.
6. Assume full permission. Leaders don’t wait for someone else to go first or for permission to do things.  Leaders assume that they have permission and act accordingly.
7. Decide and take action. Make mistakes.  Not making a choice is a choice.  Don’t let fear of making a mistake or not doing it exactly right stop you from taking action.  Do something!
8. Fail & Recover. When you make decisions and take action, you will make mistakes.  Learn from what happens, adjust and move forward.
9. Be Flexible. Success is tied closely to flexibility.  Let go of the rules that you have and how you think it’s supposed to look.  Make an intention and keep trying things until you get there.  Make a commitment to the outcome, but let go of attachment to the path you need to take to get there.
10. Have a coach. All successful people have some sort of coach.  There are coaches available for every situation and every budget.  You can’t see what you don’t know that you can’t see.  Get a coach to help you take your life to the next level.  PS  There is always a next level.
11. Have a powerful peer group. You are the sum total of the 5-7 people who you spend the most time with.  What areas of your life do you want to improve?  Improve your peer group in that area.
12. Model success. Don’t re-create the wheel.  Find someone who is getting the results you want to be getting and do what they are doing.

Bonus:

1. Find the opportunity in every difficulty and every challenge. Successful people still have problems.  They just have really good quality problems.  Welcome problems and challenges.  Get curious.  Find the learning (a coach can help) and find the opportunity.
2. Be unreasonable. Who cares if it makes sense?  Be totally unreasonable.  Be ridiculous.  Here is a place of full permisison.  What other people think about you should be no concern of yours.  If you want something to put your attention on, start caring about what YOU think about you.

I was totally inspired when I watched this. Dave’s enthusiasm is captivating. I loved his honesty about his failures and what he learned along the way. It calls me to step up into my life and do bigger work than I am doing!

Life coaches are having a different kind of conversation with people, one designed to help you be present and live a fulfilling and balanced life. In order to do that, coaches often say and do weird things:

1. Ask you what you really want. Most people have no idea what they really want. What do you really want?
2. Celebrate your failures. Congratulations! You just found one more way that it doesn’t work. What did you learn and what do you want to do now?
3. Encourage you to feel your feelings rather than run from them, hide them or fix them.
4. Ask you to check in with your body. You’ve got a body and it has wisdom. It’s time to listen.
5. Ask you to explore different perspectives. It may not always feel like it, but you always have choices. What are you choosing?
6. Celebrate your successes. This is actually harder for most people than celebrating their failures. Stop for a minute and bask in the glow of your brilliance. You deserve it!
7. Challenge your limiting beliefs. A coach specifically listens for what you are saying and what you are not saying. You may have beliefs or rules that you make up but that aren’t necessarily true. Your coach will bring these things to your awareness.
8. Follow the path of most resistance. A coach might ask you, “What don’t you want me to know about this?” There is a lot of learning and a lot of freedom in exploring the things you hide.
9. Interrupt your stories. While most coaches love a good story, they really want to know “what’s the point?” Who you are and who you are becoming are even more interesting than your stories.
10. Hold you as creative, resourceful and whole. You are not broken and you do not need to be fixed. You are capable of dealing with everything in your life and you hold the answers. Your coach believes in you even more than you believe in yourself. You can do it! You are destined for greatness!

Carrie Kish is a life coach who believes that you are destined for greatness! For more information, visit www.CarrieKish.com or call 661.255.2100.