Posts Tagged ‘focus’

Most people wait until New Year’s to start contemplating the new year and setting resolutions and goals.  But, not the people that I hang out with.  You people are on fire!  It’s barely December and everyone I know is beginning to make some assessment of 2009 and some plans for 2010.  I have a process that I run through at the end of each year and I thought I’d share it with you.  They are my Ten Questions for Spectacular Direction:

1. What did I accomplish this year?
2. What were my biggest disappointments?
3. What did I learn?
4. What 10 things do I do that I love to do?
5. What 10 things do I do that I don’t love to do?  How can I stop doing some of these things?
6. What roles do I play in my life?  For help, look at these areas and determine which roles you play:  career, money, health & fitness, love life, friends & family, personal & spiritual development, environment, and fun& recreation.  I use sassy titles like “Mother of the Year” instead of “Mom” and “God’s Girl” instead of “Confirmation Teacher” and “The Woman of His Dreams” instead of “Wife” and “The Girl Everyone is Talking About” instead of “networker.”  We all play so many roles in our lives.  Consolidate them a little, make about 8 “Title Roles” and list the sub roles underneath them.  For example:  “Mother of the Year” might have sub roles: chef, taxi driver, cheerleader, tutor, housekeeper, coach, personal shopper, librarian, gamer and ATM.  “The Best Coach in SCV” might have roles like “Coach, CTI Ambassador, ICF Board Member, WE Marketing Coordinator, blogger, networker, Get Clients Now facilitator, etc.”
7. What are my goals for each of my top 8 Roles?  Set SMART Goals:  specific, measurable, achievable, resonant, and thrilling (that might be a little different than the SMART goals you are accustomed to – I’ll write more about that another day).
8. What one or two roles are my major focus for next year?  What are my top 10 goals for next year?
9. What’s really most important to me?  What are my top 4 values that will get me the results I want next year?  I call these my “Cornerstones” and I “run” my decisions through them.
10. What support do I need to achieve my goals?  Education, resources, consulting, coaching, a buddy, a support system, etc.

Okay, I know that there are really more than ten questions on that list.  But, it’s worth it and you’re worth it.  It normally takes me about 3 hours to go through the process.  I write down all my answers and produce a lovely little one page summary that I hang on my wall all year, which I also give a sassy name (last year’s was “Sunshine 2009″, this year’s is “Win in 2010″).  As a reward, I normally treat myself to a vision board.  If I’ve done it right, my goals are a little breath taking and I treat myself to a glass of champagne to celebrate the success that I am starring in the face.

A good compliment lifts a person’s spirits. Giving a compliment comes easily and naturally for some people and it feels difficult and awkward for others. It is simply a skill that takes practice to develop.

Here are some tips:

1.  Pay Attention. The first step is to take notice of other people. Notice how they look and how they make you feel. Pay attention to what they say.

2.  Be Specific. People like to be known and seen. A powerful compliment is specific, not general. Consider the impact. “You’re awesome” doesn’t compare to “You are so organized and I know I can always count on you.”

3.  Be Genuine. A compliment should always be genuine and authentic. Look for what you honestly like about a person. Tell the truth.

4.  Be Generous. Giving a compliment is inherently a generous practice. Don’t use this as an opportunity to compare behavior that you like to behavior that you don’t. Keep your compliments clean and avoid offering them with corrections and comparisons. “I like your hair this color so much better than red” is actually an insult, not a compliment.

5.  Acknowledge. The most powerful compliments acknowledge who a person is and who they are becoming. Use this language, “You are…”

6.  Champion. Be a cheerleader. Let people know that you believe in them. Use this language, “I know …”

7.  Be Concise. A compliment can lose it’s impact if it is surrounded by explanations and justifications. Keep it brief, simple and direct.

8.  Let it Land. Don’t rush to the next thing. Allow your compliment to be received. Generally people will say, “Thank you.” Sometimes a person will push a compliment away by belittling themselves or minimizing their contribution. Gently repeat the compliment.

9.  Practice. Practice giving AND receiving compliments. Give at least 5 compliments every day. When someone gives you a compliment, simply say, “Thank you.”

I was thrilled to get up this morning and realize that I get an extra hour today due to Daylight Saving Time!  I felt so motivated like I could get so much extra stuff done today.  I started by going grocery shopping before breakfast.  Then I decided to update my website.  I also took a break to workout.  I played a game with the kids this afternoon and created a new facebook fan page.  So, all in all, I spent at least 6 “extra” hours today doing things that I wouldn’t normally do on a Sunday because I perceived that I had “so much extra time”.

It made me realize that I can always make time to do the things that I want to do and that there is plenty of time in the day when I’m looking for it.  It reminded me of the concept of NET Time.  NET stands for “No Extra Time”.  I have this practice of “creating” time by using NET time.  It’s just a fancy kind of multi-tasking with intention.  I listen to motivational or educational CDs in the car, especially in traffic.  I make personal phone calls while doing the dishes or laundry.  It helps me feel more productive and to justify “hanging out” with my girlfriends on the phone and it makes otherwise dull chores something I look forward to.

So, what did you do with your extra hour today?  What would you do if you had an extra hour every day?  Where can you find an extra hour in your day to do just that?

If you haven’t seen this, make some time. This is a great speech that speaks to the work that ALL of us are here to do. If you are short on time, skip the introduction. If you really need the “cliff notes” version, watch the last 15 minutes.

It seems like it is the eternal quest of mankind to search out the meaning of life. The first step is to search for, find, or define the purpose of your life. A fine point here is that there is no right answer any more than there is a wrong one. The meaning of your life is what you say it is. Your purpose in life is what you understand it to be. Use one or more of the following meditations to contemplate your purpose in life:

Imagine yourself at your 90th birthday party. Your friends and family and everyone whose life you have impacted in any way are gathered to honor you. They take turns telling stories and sharing how you made a difference in their lives. What do they say?

Imagine that you have just been given a free billboard on the busiest stretch of the 405 freeway. Thousands of people pass by it every day. You have the opportunity to impact these people in any way you would like. What would you put on the billboard? What is the message that you want to convey? What is the impact you want to have on the drivers as they see it?

Imagine you have discovered the technology to reengineer all of the metal detectors in every airport in the world. They will do their original job, but they will also change people’s lives in a fundamental way. You get to program the metal detectors and decide what change people will experience. They will not be harmed in any way, but they will act differently, speak differently and relate to the world in a different way. What is the experience that people have as they walk through the gate and what do they now know that they didn’t know before?

These are just a few questions for you to consider as you explore your purpose in life. Schedule a sample session with Carrie to explore further or to look at what’s next.