Posts Tagged ‘life lessons’

Most people wait until New Year’s to start contemplating the new year and setting resolutions and goals.  But, not the people that I hang out with.  You people are on fire!  It’s barely December and everyone I know is beginning to make some assessment of 2009 and some plans for 2010.  I have a process that I run through at the end of each year and I thought I’d share it with you.  They are my Ten Questions for Spectacular Direction:

1. What did I accomplish this year?
2. What were my biggest disappointments?
3. What did I learn?
4. What 10 things do I do that I love to do?
5. What 10 things do I do that I don’t love to do?  How can I stop doing some of these things?
6. What roles do I play in my life?  For help, look at these areas and determine which roles you play:  career, money, health & fitness, love life, friends & family, personal & spiritual development, environment, and fun& recreation.  I use sassy titles like “Mother of the Year” instead of “Mom” and “God’s Girl” instead of “Confirmation Teacher” and “The Woman of His Dreams” instead of “Wife” and “The Girl Everyone is Talking About” instead of “networker.”  We all play so many roles in our lives.  Consolidate them a little, make about 8 “Title Roles” and list the sub roles underneath them.  For example:  “Mother of the Year” might have sub roles: chef, taxi driver, cheerleader, tutor, housekeeper, coach, personal shopper, librarian, gamer and ATM.  “The Best Coach in SCV” might have roles like “Coach, CTI Ambassador, ICF Board Member, WE Marketing Coordinator, blogger, networker, Get Clients Now facilitator, etc.”
7. What are my goals for each of my top 8 Roles?  Set SMART Goals:  specific, measurable, achievable, resonant, and thrilling (that might be a little different than the SMART goals you are accustomed to – I’ll write more about that another day).
8. What one or two roles are my major focus for next year?  What are my top 10 goals for next year?
9. What’s really most important to me?  What are my top 4 values that will get me the results I want next year?  I call these my “Cornerstones” and I “run” my decisions through them.
10. What support do I need to achieve my goals?  Education, resources, consulting, coaching, a buddy, a support system, etc.

Okay, I know that there are really more than ten questions on that list.  But, it’s worth it and you’re worth it.  It normally takes me about 3 hours to go through the process.  I write down all my answers and produce a lovely little one page summary that I hang on my wall all year, which I also give a sassy name (last year’s was “Sunshine 2009″, this year’s is “Win in 2010″).  As a reward, I normally treat myself to a vision board.  If I’ve done it right, my goals are a little breath taking and I treat myself to a glass of champagne to celebrate the success that I am starring in the face.

Mother Teresa

No matter your politics or your religion, most people recognize Mother Teresa as a great woman.  Her life and her work celebrate the simple joy of loving, the greatness and dignity of all people and the value of doing little things faithfully and with love.  She inspires me in so many ways, but most notably by being a leader in the world who affected change with one small action at time.  The legacy she leaves us is the knowledge that small things matter and that everyone has something to contribute.  Everyone.  She said, “Do not wait for leaders.  Do it alone, person to person.”  What she may not recognize, in her humility, is that this is actually true leadership.  And this is the kind of leader that Mother Teresa was.  This reminds me to let go of the details and simply do the work that is in front of me now.  She also told us, “We can not do great things.  We can only do small things with great love.”  She reminds us that a smile heals and it is ours to give.  Smile at someone today.  She reminds us to love our neighbors, really.  For many of us, that means getting to know our neighbors.  And, with the holidays approaching, I also like to remember that Mother Teresa said, “If you can’t feed a hundred people, then feed just one.”  It is a small act of kindness and humanity and it is something tangible that we can all do.

Bruno

Pepper

Today, my dogs got out and they bolted! They took off into the hillside to chase some deer and I didn’t see them again for 3 hours. They came back thirsty, tired and smelling of rosemary (which is better than they smelled when they left). They are totally fine. But, I wasn’t. I was beside myself with worry and rearranged my schedule to attempt to find them. And I learned some things.

• Sometimes, you just have to run yourself silly after your dreams even if you can’t catch them. It’s all about the thrill of the chase, the exhilaration and what you experience and learn about on the way.
• Sometimes, you need to jump up and take advantage of an opportunity immediately or it will run off without you and you might not get it back. When my dogs broke out of the house (yes, broke out – one of them can open unlocked doors), I saw them make a break for it. I chased after them for about 5 minutes and then I gave up. I could see where they were on the hillside and I was going to be late for a conference call, so I went and called in. By the time I got back outside with my phone, they had disappeared and disappeared good.
• Sometimes it is better to be late or to reschedule than to let your life get all out of proportion. Instead of being late or canceling my call, I toughed it out for a while – while my dogs ran unsupervised through the hills. If you give up (after 5 minutes), it will make catching up later a lot harder. I searched for them for an hour in the hills after that, to no avail.
• Searching, worrying and running all over the place telling everyone you know that you need help doesn’t always yield results. In this case, I finally ended up coming home and getting on the phone with a client and my dogs just walked back into the house like nothing had happened that a long drink of water and a good long nap couldn’t fix.
• Sometimes a long drink of water and a good, long nap is exactly what is needed.
• The biggest lesson here for me is about being busy and active and taking action. I’m always the girl who takes action and takes care of business. If there is a problem, I’m going to fix it. What I am realizing is that many things don’t need to be fixed or worked on, but left to sort themselves out (like teenagers). Sometimes, it is more important to have faith that things can and will work themselves out without my input and that my most important contribution is to make sure there is a safe, loving environment to land in when the day is done.
• And, finally, gratitude. I am grateful that my dogs are home, that my husband is safely delivered to NYC, that my kids are all tucked in their beds and that my life is good. I am grateful for all my friends and neighbors that were real and sympathetic and supportive and told me the truth rather than what they thought I wanted to hear. I am grateful for these lessons today, because I am sure I will need them one day when the stakes are higher.